Run a Race!

10358729_796133213815647_6984393093090976025_nI am a big fan or runners hopping into races during their training for a big goal. While the races need to be carefully timed and chosen, they are a fun way to mix up training, assess current fitness, and practice race morning routines. For many of my athletes, we’ll sue a short race in place of a speed workout. If you are itching to sign up for some races, and are wondering how to choose and how to structure your season, I am sharing a few tips with you below:

  • Choose a distance that benefits your goal race. For example, a speedy 5K can be a great workout for a runner heading to a 10K-Half Marathon race. A 5K may not be a huge asset to a marathoner unless some additional mileage is added to the day. Then again, if you are a marathoner who struggles with committing to speed workouts on your own, a 5K may be your excuse to get in speed. A half marathon, when scheduled appropriately, can be the perfect quality long run for someone in the throes of marathon training. I would race a Half Marathon no closer to a marathon than 3-4 weeks out.
  • Pick a course you like, or that offers benefit to your big goals. For example, a fast and flat 10K may be the perfect fitness assessment and speed workout for someone targeting a flat Half Marathon. A hilly Half Marathon would be perfect for preparing for a hilly marathon, like NYC Marathon.
  • Be sure to adjust your schedule that week for your race, especially if you are swapping a short and speedy race for a long run. For example, I hopped into a 5K this past Sunday as a speed workout. I usually do a speed run twice per week – Monday and Thursday, so this week I am not running speed work again until Thursday, and won’t be running long since this is a taper week for Boston. But Boston isn’t my goal race, so I am only giving myself a mini taper and focusing on the speed workouts, in preparation for my goal race a few weeks away.
  • Set goals that make sense. It’s a little unrealistic to set the goal of crushing every race – especially the ones you are using as a workout or assessment. Set a goal that makes sense and supports your big goal. For example, you may set the goal or even pacing, and learning to not be pulled by folks around you. This weekend, I set the goal of a negative-split 5K. This forced me to settle into the very hilly first mile and then shave away time in mile 2 and 3. Maybe practice fueling on your feet, using new gear, running without music – the goal doesn’t have to be time related.
  • Have fun. If this isn’t your goal race, there is no reason to take it too seriously. Yes, training races can be painful, hard, and sometimes terrible. But learn something from it, have a laugh and move on. Save that intensity and focus for the big goals. If running and racing isn’t fun, most of us shouldn’t be doing it.
  • If you live in a city like NYC, most races attract thousands of runners. Even little 4-milers in Central Park can draw 7000 runners. It’s really nice change to go hop into a small race sponsored by a small organization. You will have far less runners (easily the low hundreds, and sometimes less than 100 runners!), and you may have the opportunity to be a hot-shot and place in your age group or overall. Those little boosts of confidence can go a long way.

With Spring weather here, there will be races hosted all over the place every weekend between now and October. Enjoy them! And if you are traveling, do a little research and hop into the local race. It’s a great way to enjoy a new place, and get in some quality miles.

Body Image in Athletics

img_6222-editPeople come in all shapes and sizes. Athletes come in all shapes and sizes. It’s often an odd transition viewing yourself as an athlete, but I ask all my clients to do so. When you slightly change your perspective of yourself, you’ll view your nutrition choices, sleep, training, priorities, and life differently. I find this shift is extremely important for folks who struggle with nutrition/weight and with time-management and sleep. Instead of viewing food as “good” or “bad,” you start to think about your training, and what choices will properly aid you in pre-run fuel, post-run recovery, or general nutrition. Suddenly you won’t feel “bad” about a food choice, because your perspective of you as a human being will be different. The same is true with sleep – you’ll suddenly be aware of how it’s an important component of training – and that if you want to train harder and improve, you’ll need to get more Zzz’s.

I remember when I personally went through the shift, and how I finally felt settled and had an “identity” as far as food goes. I’ve been pretty open about my relationship with food and body image in the past, and I know I am not the only person who has struggled with it. But running and training for challenging race goals gave my body a purpose, a hunger for achievement, and I became excited and dedicated to doing what it took to morph my body for those goals. I too referred to myself as “not a real runner” for a long time – dismissing my involvement in this sport because I wasn’t professional, fast, or taking it seriously.

Over the last 5 years, my body has changed a lot. There have been years where I was curvier, years where I was rail-thin and friends voiced concerns, and years where I have been muscular with relatively low body fat. My size has swung from 6-0 and everywhere in between, and changes depending on what I am training for, how hard I am training, and honestly how I am feeling. There are some months where all I want to do is eat, and I need to pull myself up off the couch and into the gym or the park. There are other months where I feel so motivated and energized, I forget to eat and am struggling to take in enough calories. As you can imagine, this changes my body. And though I hate to admit it, it changes how I feel about myself.

What’s interesting is how I am perceived – often by strangers, casting directors, acquaintances, and friends I haven’t seen in a long time. I must always look “athletic,” because the topic usually comes up in conversation. I have had casting directors and the like ask if I am a gymnast, yogi, dancer, Pilates instructor, CrossFit activist – the list goes on. Ironically, few guess “runner.” Perhaps, to be fair, this is because runners come in all shapes and sizes. But to hear “Really? You don’t look like a runner -” it somehow feels like a stab in the gut. I usually am quick defend myself, saying I am not a sprinter (so I am not rocking large powerful muscles and very low body fat), and I am also not an elite middle or long distance runner – folks who are often associated with looking unhealthy, waif-like, and gaunt. Here’s the thing: while I am indeed a runner, I am not a professional athlete. Folks expect to see the stereotype on magazines, winning marathons or track events – not the folks who are “better than average” but also are not training full-time.

I assume if I struggle with being judged, and often have to defend my body and my choices, that other folks out there do too. Unfortunately, females are judged based on how they look before they can even open their mouths. And while I shouldn’t assume this is only a female thing, being female myself, I can only speak for the ladies.

To the folks who judge – I say go watch a race. You will see all body types cross that finish line – 5K through Marathon. You will see the elite runners you expect us all to resemble, you will also see body types doing amazing things that will honestly catch you by surprise. Don’t judge, be inspired. After all, they are the ones training and clocking miles while you sit there on your ass and point a finger.

And while some folks are probably not aware that making assumptions or judgements about a person’s body and sport can be hurtful, we should all remember to think before we speak. It’s the same with fat shaming, or assuming someone’s life is easy because they look like our idea of a “model.” You have no idea how hard someone might work for their sport, or to maintain a healthy weight. You also probably don’t know how hard that person has worked to achieve where they are today.

Being an athlete is hard. It’s a huge time commitment, which makes it a big part of your identity – whether you realize it or not. Wear that identity with pride. Train for your sport and your body will reflect your hard work, and hopefully give you the result you want. There is no perfect body or size. What’s perfect for you is what will help you achieve your goals and feel your best. If I was told gaining 10lbs. would make me faster and set crazy PRs, I’d be the first in line to pack on those additional pounds – assuming it wouldn’t hurt my health, of course. Sadly, that’s not true. Your body is your tool in this world, and we are only given one. What we do with it is our choice.

Recently when given the whole “Really? You’re a runner?!” response, I carefully explain that indeed I am – and that runners come in all shapes and sizes, and their bodies will usually be different depending on the distance and pace one runs. I figure if I cannot stop that awkward comment from arising, perhaps I can educate the person asking and they’ll think twice before assuming something about body types in the future. And for the record, I have never taken one yoga, Pilates, CrossFit or gymnastics classes – so all of those guesses are WRONG. Go figure, right? And while I used to be a dancer, it has been a few years since I have been in class. Again, proof that many snap judgements are totally off-base. I am ever going to look like Shalane Flanagan? Nope. Am I ever going to be as fast as Shalane Flanagan? Nope. And that’s OKAY!!!!!

I hope if you are struggling with your own relationship with food, body image, weight, or role in your sport that you are kind to yourself. Don’t let a stranger’s uneducated opinion sway how you feel. And if you are looking to become lighter and leaner, remember that there is no quick fix – it’s a process. You don’t owe anyone anything. But you do owe it to yourself to be happy in your skin.

Self-esteem and Expectations

80878c12b0a0c28265093158861948c8This week I’d like to talk about body image. While many of my clients are driven by race-day goals, PRs, and breaking through their athletic barriers, I have some clients who are also driven by toning up, feeling confident in their skin, and sometimes simply dropping pounds – ranging from 10lbs. to 50lbs. While I absolutely love helping my clients with their goals, sometimes my heart breaks for those who they compare themselves to or how bad they feel about themselves. Having a client want to lose 15lbs. by next week is like having a new runner expect they can race a 5K tomorrow – it’s unrealistic. Not to say those goals aren’t achievable, they may absolutely be, but tomorrow. Change takes time.

I am a firm believer that everyone deserves to feel good in their own skin – and is capable of achieving that. For some of us, it takes longer than others. One thing that often sabotages folks is their expectations. And who can blame them – we are bombarded by “standards” every single day. Thanks to Hollywood’s standards, our concept of beauty, aging, and fitness are completely unrealistic. Courteney Cox, Marisa Tomei, Sandra Bullock, Demi Moore – do these look like 50-year-old women in your life? Nope. Not unless you live in Miami or LA. Yet that’s a standard thrown upon us and one we assume upon ourselves. We are dooming ourselves to fail.

Personally, my self-esteem finally changed when I stopped reading tabloid magazines and watching Hollywood-related news. I couldn’t let go of the images I’d see, and the “secret diet” of some star. Or watching celebrity after celebrity in interviews or on the red carpet credit their genetics and a healthy lifestyle for their appearance. I call bullshit. They should be thanking the folks truly responsible for their appearance: their personal trainers, nutritionists and chefs, makeup and hair stylists, dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons. I don’t doubt some have good genetics, but good genetics alone aren’t responsible for most of what we see – or are told we should try to attain.

So if you are struggling with your goals and your self-esteem, please be kind to yourself. We cannot change Hollywood standards, but we can change our expectations of ourselves. Compare yourself to you, and no one else. Mark your progress by you and your starting point, no one else’s. Once you let go of all that pressure, success is that much closer.

Indoor Coaching in NYC

elizabethOne of the main excuses I get from runners this time of the year is the weather. While some folks find ways to power through, embrace the weather, and simply refuse to let bad weather compromise their training or goals, others look for alternatives. For those of you fair weather runners in NYC, I have some good news! Mile High Run Club is a new running study, 100% dedicated to runners. And beginning in 2015, Coach Corky is joining their roster of coaches!

Unlike many treadmill classes, MHRC is all about improving as a runner. This isn’t a place dedicated to vanity training. It’s a studio that welcomes runners of all abilities, and pushes each person to improve their form, focus, breath, strength and running potential. The two different class structures are designed to challenge every runner, and are interval-driven.

Personally, I cannot stand running on your average treadmill. I hate it. Hate. I’d prefer to fight high winds and freezing rain pelting my face for a 17-miler than strap my legs up to a moving belt for 2 hours. So it must say something if I am on board with treadmill running classes!

Anyway, come check out a class! Every coach comes from a different running background, and brings their individuality to their classes – and they music selections. Don’t let the dark, cold Winter get in your way. Make 2015 awesome.

Fitness Model Day – Danskin Sports Bras

10849955_725984670830502_834625735480259426_nA few weeks ago, I was hired to shoot for Danskin. I’ve known about Danskin for their dance attire for years, but I didn’t realize until I was called to attend the casting that Danskin now has a line of athletic wear. Incredibly unexpected – especially with being so close to the holidays, I was thankful for the booking!

On most shoots for a brand, you’ll find yourself modeling most, if not all, of the line. You will change dozens of times, have your hair and makeup sometimes changed, and will execute dozens of fitness moves and stretches. It’s a long day, but you are constantly moving, thinking on your feet, and onto the next thing – so the shoot often flies by. Mad props are always given to the hair and makeup stylists for making me look fresh, awake and energized 7 hours into the shoot. I also always rely on lots of water, coffee and snacks to keep me going. I should probably mention I was up at 4am to coach clients before the shoot, and then dashing to coach after – so the team that kept me looking fab and fresh went above and beyond the call of duty on this one! Looking good when you’ve been up and working a 16-hour day is no easy task!

10389227_725984707497165_3207036411883445646_nSo if you happen upon Danskin activewear, look for my face on the tags, perhaps in the ads, on the wall, or in a magazine or billboard. The jury is still out on exactly where the photos will be used, but definitely on the tags.

Much thanks to an amazing team, Carrie at MSA Models, and the other model, Desiree.

Resolution Road

img_6959-editI cannot believe how neglected my blog has been the last few months. I am changing that, starting NOW. For some reason it became less of a priority, which isn’t like me. Even when I am super busy, I alway make time for my blog. No excuses. I’m back at it.

It’s the time of the year when everyone is extremely busy with holiday parties, gift shopping and wrapping, baking, end of year work responsibilities, kids home from school for Winter Break, travel to see family – this time of the year is often one filled with love, laughter, and a whole lot of things on the calendar. It’s also the time of year many folks start thinking about the new year, and the new hopes, dreams and goals they see with it. And that’s where I come in.

I am a firm believer that we can all turn over a new leaf, set new goals, and choose to change habits TODAY. We don’t need a fresh month or new year to finally make ourselves do something, but that seems to be the trend. As you probably know, New Years brings with it more fitness, weight loss and physical goals and resolutions than anything else. Sure, there are people who set career goals, finance goals, travel goals, etc – but fitness is the overwhelming winner of resolutions.

It never fails that the first few weeks of the new year my email and my phone will be filled with inquiries from new people with big goals. I love those emails and calls. I am excited to meet new people, hear about their goals, and discuss how I can help them. It’s part of what I love about what I do – helping people achieve something for themselves that betters them and their quality of life. The excitement, motivation and energy each person brings with their call or email is something I wish I could bottle and save for them. It’s infectious. And yes, out of all the messages, calls, meetings and even a few weeks into training, a certain percent of those hopeful, motivated New Years Resolution clients fall of the face of the earth. The motivation and focus slip once they realize how much effort it takes to train or eat the way they need to, or they become impatient when the scale doesn’t show a magical number within the first week, and so on. The excuses start rolling in, and I know it’s a matter of time before they are off the Resolution Ride, and they will move off my roster. Look at the gym on January 1-5 compared to February 1-5 and you’ll see just how few people stuck with their plan for a month. One month. Thirty-one days, people.

I don’t think any less of the people who can’t commit to their training goals than the ones that do. I get it. It’s hard. It’s also really frustrating to continue that cycle of training/dieting and falling off the wagon. I want to hug and shake and give a pep-talk to the people who fall off. I know that progress takes time, and it takes WEEKS to form new habits, and a lot of work, focus and persistence to make the changes often necessary to achieve goals so momentous that they are saved for the New Year.

I know how hard change can be, but the hardest part is starting. I know I can help people who are willing and capable to make their health and goals a priority. I know anyone can make the changes they desire – but it takes a hell of a lot of willpower, support, knowledge and the acceptance that not every day will be easy for feel good. If say you don’t have time, I will call you out. Bull shit. You have no idea what I’ve made myself accomplish with VERY little time. You have no idea how many clients have succeeded with their goals while juggling an incredibly busy, stressful schedule. Yes, change often involves struggle and some setbacks, but again I will call you out. A setback or struggle doesn’t ruin all the progress or make you a weak person or a failure. It makes you human, silly. And if you find a trainer or gym hard to afford, I suggest you check out how much you are spending to eat out, have drinks with friends, and on medical bills. If you cut back on eating and drinking out, that’s money and calories saved. We almost always eat a better diet when preparing our own food. Cocktails with your girlfriends or with the guys at the bar add up pretty quickly. And if you get yourself healthier, in theory you’ll be spending less money on doctors appointments and medications.

So if you are looking to 2015 with fitness-related goals, be prepared to work hard and to also be in it for the long run. Look towards April, and what goals will be accomplished by then, not January 15th. A ton of progress can happen within four months, but very little will show for it the first two weeks. But the only way to get to April and those goals is to stick with the plan every day between January 1st and April 1st. I wish everyone with high hopes and big goals all the success in the world. There is no better gift to yourself than health, self-confidence and strength. And if you need help, there are tons of great trainers, gyms and programs out there in every city. The road to progress can be hard, but it is never impossible.

The Benefit of a Race

img_7093If you are looking for a goal, a new challenge, a reason to hit the gym or lace up your shoes, or to try something new – sign up for a race. I promise you that you won’t regret it. Races come in all shapes and sizes, themes, times of day, days of the week – the possibilities are endless.

Okay, so perhaps you are not convinced. Maybe you don’t consider yourself a runner. Perhaps you are worries you’ll be the last person across the finish line. It’s possible you assume all runners look like Olympians and are concerned looking like a human being will make you the laughing-stock of the race.

I get it. Remember, I didn’t race for years because I had those same fears. Instead I’d run on my own as I pleased, but I sometimes struggled with motivation, and I rarely pushed myself for pace or a goal other than to go outside and clock some miles. I didn’t see myself as a runner, but rather a person who happened to run. My first race changed my perspective in a hugely positive way, and it can for you too!

Here’s the truth and some tips:

Runners come in all shapes and size.

Walkers are more and more welcome at races these days, so you will probably not be last.

No one will laugh and point – in fact, you’ll be shocked at how many strangers will cheer for you!

No matter how fast, crossing the finish line will feel awesome.

Sign up with some friends and go to brunch after the race to celebrate your achievement – food always tastes better after a run!

You’ll feel a new sense of accomplishment.

Start with a 5K and go from there. There’s no need to take on something epic too soon.

Bring a camera and take some photos. You’ll start to see yourself as a stronger, more capable person. The photos don’t lie!

Make your own race-day goal. It could be to set a new personal record, have fun the whole time, high-five every child cheering, thank every volunteer, help a friend achieve their goal, wear a costume, enjoy a new running playlist – the possibilities are endless!

No matter what your reasons or plan, a race can be just the thing to reignite your healthy habits, start new ones, or simply have some good, clean fun.

Bonus: local 5Ks are usually very inexpensive, intimate, and often benefit a local organization, charity or cause.

 

10K for Cancer in Cancun

10559813_10152416229363645_4378808899992536179_nThis coach recently took a vacation from NYC, coaching, and America – and spent a week in Cancun. While I won’t bore you with stories of drinking island cocktails on the beach, rowdy dance parties, and foam parties, I somehow found the motivation to hop into a local race while in Cancun, and that’s what this blog is about.

Personally, I love to travel and run. It’s a great way to see new places and get away from your hotel and the “tourist” areas. When we booked a vacation to Cancun, Chris found out that our resort was hosting a 5K/10K race while we were in town, to benefit children in Cancun with cancer. This seemed like the perfect activity, and so we signed up for $20.00 USD the day before – which also covered a medal and a tech shirt. Talk about a deal.

The night before, I cut back on booze consumption and only went to the dance club for a few hours. We were in bed by 11pm and ready to get up at 5:45am, which seemed pretty darn responsible for vacation. The next morning, we walked 1.5 miles to the starting line. It was VERY humid outside – even for Cancun.

The first real difference we noticed about a race in Mexico – no bathrooms. Not a single porta potty along the course or at the start/finish. Perhaps you get what you pay for, and or $20.00 fee meant they skimped on potties? Either way, this was a surprise. Even very small races back home have some sort of facility. Oh well. I had to get creative and pee pre-race, which wasn’t a big deal. It also became quickly clear that this was a race very few tourists were running. The field was almost all locals, which surprised me since the race was hosted by our resort. Therefore, everything was communicated in Spanish. Nothing was ever announced in English, and so we had to listen carefully and give up control. Following the crowds was the only option.

The 5K/10K were on the same course, starting all at once. The 5K split off to finish while the 10K runners ran the course a second time. I was one of the top 3-5 runners during the first loop, and told myself to relax – maybe some of these ladies were running the 5K. After the first mile, humidity hit me like a wall. It was extremely humbling. I’m sure my Ultra training and lack of speed work was a factor, but my sweat rate and core temperature became an issue before very long. It’s a strange feeling to have a wave of heat pour down from your head and through your body. I don’t know how these locals made it look so easy!

Another big difference was the kindness of other runners. Around mile 2, one lady and I kept swapping places and were pulling/pushing each other along. When we got to the first aid station, where water was handed in sealed plastic bags you tear open with your teeth, she grabbed one, took a few sips and then offered it to me. I declined, as I was more in awe of the water bag concept and this runner’s kindness. By the time we got to the 5K split, I dropped her and she finished a few minutes behind me. I ended up taking two bags later in the race – embracing the way runners hydrate in Cancun and giving my body some much-needed water.

To my surprise, the women in front of me were still on the course after the 5K mark and forging ahead. My hope that they were racing the 5K was squashed, and I knew there was no chance I’d catch them. They were out of sight unless we were on an out-and-back portion, and my body was crumbling under the weather conditions and I couldn’t get my legs to move any faster. Again, so humbling.

As I closed in on the finish line, a bike escort brought me in – which confused me for a few minutes. I knew I was either 4th or 5th female, just shy of a cash prize, so the escort was odd. Folks shouted words of encouragement in Spanish, and Chris was there cheering too. He ran the 5K, and thought I was perhaps 3rd female. I told him I was pretty sure there were 3 ladies ahead of me. In what was my slowest and hardest 10K of my life, I was thankful when the finish line was behind me.

A huge table of fruit, coolers of water, bottles of coconut water, and thermos of Powerade waited at the finish line. We waited for the award ceremony, which included honoring the children in the area benefiting from the race. These little cancer patients were so cute, and for a minute it made my suffering for a 10K seem small and silly.

I won 1st in my Age Group, and laughed when the announcer stumbled on my obviously non-Spanish name. As I made my way up to the top of the podium, the two ladies in 2nd and 3rd were incredibly sweet. High fives, hugs and kisses for all. Again, very different from any race I’ve experienced in the US. My prize was a day pass to our resort for two people, which of course we couldn’t use. I gave my prize to a runner as we walked back to our resort. He was extremely thankful, and said he and his girlfriend would love to use it. I was happy my prize didn’t go to waste!

Age Group winners.

Age Group winners.

When we got back to our resort, we were ready for a huge breakfast, drinks and relaxing in the hot sun – and we spent the rest of the day relaxing and maybe drinking too much. It was great to get out of the resort area, meet some locals, and get our legs moving. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – traveling and running are an awesome combination.

The F Word (Failure)

A snap shot of my Ultra. So ill at this point.

A snap shot of my Ultra. So ill at this point.

This week I want to talk about failure. I think it’s safe to say that most of us have experienced some sense of the word in our lives. In terms of fitness and weight loss, “failure” is the F word that plagues most of our minds. Many people are so scared of failing at a goal that they never start. Having failed many times at things, I can tell you that it’s not so scary once you embrace that little F word and make it into something positive.

The last week or so, I have referred to my Ultra on July 19/20th as a “failure.’ Why? Because it was. I didn’t achieve my goal of 100 miles. However, I also know I pushed further than before, and that “failure” is sometimes objective. I suppose when you fail at an Ultra, and still mange to run over 75 miles, everyone around you still thinks that’s super-human awesome. While I don’t really see it that way, I understand that my achievement was still something the average person cannot do. Therefore, I have taken that “failure” and somehow decided to own it as mine.

The same is true for past races, ones where I tanked during a race and a time goal slipped away. Weight loss failure a few years ago plagued me and defined my sense of self. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat, worthless failure, who couldn’t succeed at the simple task of dropping some body fat. Was I ever really fat or worthless? No, I don’t think so now. But then I did. Every time I “failed” at a diet or workout plan, I labeled myself as weak. When you tell yourself you are weak, you believe it. At some point, something snapped for me and I realized that I wasn’t weak, and my knowledge of nutrition, fitness and health were WAY off base. I was also too caught up in what I thought I needed to look like, thanks to time spent reading beauty magazines and watching too much E! News. Once I finally said “fuck it!” and made choices around my happiness, I stopped sweating my failure and started to see it as something else – BEING HUMAN.

Being human means we are capable of awesome things. Don’t believe me? Then you haven’t tried. Really, truly tried. Being human also means we fail. Why are we all so scared of failing and therefore being human? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be this ideal person? I don’t know about you, but that kind of pressure will make most of us crack.

So if you are sitting there, reading my blog and feeling incapable of getting off the couch and going for a walk, a run, to the gym, or to clean out your kitchen of all your junk “feel better” food, I have news for you – you are not alone. And here’s some more news – you will never succeed if you don’t try. True, you will also never fail, but aren’t you already failing by passively not being proactive in your life?

In college, I remember one of my choral directors told us to sing with confidence. It’s better to make a huge mistake and own it than to passively “sing” your part. Go big or go home. If you make a mistake, you’ll learn from it and realize that note needs to be corrected. But if you get it right, it will not only be the correct pitch, it will have your breath, diction and voice all working the way the composer intended – creating something beautiful.

Don’t be scared to fail. Failure makes us stronger. You’ll never know how strong, fast, smart, beautiful or fit you may be unless you try. That goes for everything in life.

#LikeAGirl and girl-on-girl hating

Liz Corkum 322Let’s talk about girl-on-girl hating. It’s a real thing. I have experienced it my whole life. It never feels good, and has honestly always left me confused. Why do women and girls desire to pull down other females? We are often the voices of women empowerment, but are ironically the first ones to drag down the females around us. What gives? Why do we try ┬áto knock down the women we envy, admire or look up to? Why do you put down the women we feel superior to? Why, in a world where our country and many males view us as less than equal are we continuing this girl-on-girl crime? Shouldn’t we be rallying together, and cheering on those who are rising to challenges? Bullying, whether as children or adults, is the sign of a hateful, sad, insecure person. Knowing that helps, however it still really hurts.

Perhaps girls first experience this kind of repression in gym class. Girls make other girls feel bad if they try to compete. Boys make the girls feel unwelcome. Many teachers make assumptions regarding athletic ability based on gender. These girls become young women who hate exercise and feel threatened by anyone who happens to like sports or happens to work hard for their physique. To be clear, I am NOT saying that all women should aspire to be a size 0, be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or be a movie star – but why do we seem to put down the women who DO have these aspirations?!? Shouldn’t we instead say “good for you, girl!”

Since this is a fitness blog and not a political one, I am going to simply stick to the fitness side – though I must confess I have some strong opinions on this topic that go across the boards. In the fitness world, I see more girl-on-girl hate than anywhere else. If a woman makes the news for have six-pack abs a month post baby (and why that is news-worthy I’ll never understand), it never fails that the hundreds of comments below the article will be hateful, venomous remarks made by…..WOMEN. The hate, lashing out, and judgement over a complete stranger’s physique is disgusting. Ladies, instead of spending time writing hateful remarks, how about we do something POSITIVE with our free time! No, I do not think a woman should feel pressured to pop out a baby and have her pre-baby weight, whatever that might be, within a few months. Frankly, its up to the woman if she wants to lose the weight at all. Perhaps the real source of judgement is jealousy – because let’s face it, how many American women have their ideal set of six-pack abs ever – baby or not? While I am not a doctor and am not a mother, I can tell you this: It is a million times easier to be fit post-baby if you don’t gain 70 lbs. while pregnant. And ladies, just like anything in life, we have a CHOICE regarding what we eat, how much we eat, and how much we exercise. Yes, pregnancy requires weight-gain. Does it require 70 lbs. of weight gain? Absolutely not. I promise you the women who do happen to have a killer set of abs post-baby also had killer abs pre-pregnancy – and were probably hated on for that too.

It doesn’t make sense to me that ladies who are naturally petite judge those ladies who naturally carry more weight. Or that women who are plus-sized despise the women who are a size 2. The hate goes both ways. We are damned if we are thin and damned if we are fat. And if you happen to be toned and muscular, you will be considered self-centered and its assumed you don’t eat anything but salad. I hope we can all agree that no matter our size or health, we all feel judged. We all ARE judged. Let’s stop that. The venom is out of control. Can we stop focusing on size, age, power, superiority and for a second focus on happiness, health, achievements and working to be better versions of ourselves. Can we focus on cheering each other on, celebrating achievements and milestones, and perhaps empowering the women and girls in our lives.

When I watch my female runners train, its amazing to me how much they hold themselves back. I have witnessed dozens of ladies who tell me on day one what they are capable of, and they hold themselves to that number. On the flip side, many of my male runners are often ambitious with their goals and hardly ever put a cap on what their potential ability could be. Why are women so quick to cap their potential? Does it go back to gym class in middle school and being told what we can or cannot do? Does it go back to being scared of failing, and looking like fools? Is it that all of their female friends who run do it “for fun” and eliminate the concept of improving pace and ability? For the record, I think it is entirely possible to have fun and love a sport while still trying to improve.

Next time you read a news headline that tears down a woman, I encourage you to read the article from a different point of view. Journalism and the media realized a long time ago that women love to read about other women who have failed, or have succeeded so far that we somehow give ourselves permission to judge them. Instead, ask yourself a few questions – Why is this article “news?” Is the point of the article to communicate anything positive? How is the subject depicted? Do we actually really know anything about the person in the article? Who are we to judge? A chain in perspective and attitude can happen, but it will take time. It is my hope that someday, girls won’t feel inferior in gym class, that women feel supported by their fellow sisters instead of judged and that we create a world where females feel empowered, strong, and equal. Let’s start today. Go be awesome.